I am a Year 8 student at Tauranga Intermediate School, New Zealand.
Good effort. My suggestions would be... to add an adverb to each of your verbs and to reconsider the line 'at the heart of the ocean' to improve it and give a sense of it being in the middle of the vast ocean.
Oh yup. Will do! :)
Good effort. My suggestions would be... to add an adverb to each of your verbs and to reconsider the line 'at the heart of the ocean' to improve it and give a sense of it being in the middle of the vast ocean.
ReplyDeleteOh yup. Will do! :)
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